I hate being a grown-up.

Ever have one of those days where your outlook on life just gets grayer and grayer by the hour?  Today was one for me.  I can tell myself all the positives and encouragements and truths I want, but in the end, I am just cross, disappointed and deeply discouraged.  We’ve been doing Dave Ramsey for about a month and a half and had been making some good head-way in a few areas.  We haven’t used our credit card, have been making all our bills and even managed to save a very small something.  We sold several items around the house to build up our emergency fund and were just 300$ short of hitting the first goal.  And then we got hit with several hospital bills.  We knew about the ones I had but both the boys got sick and needed respiratory care and even with insurance, it’s a pretty penny.  And to pay them, we count on John’s overtime to do it.  But we didn’t get any overtime the last 2 weeks.  And Jacob’s ER visit is now due.  With over a $1,000 total due in my family’s hospital bills alone, we now have to face, for our first time ever, letting all of those bills go to collections, because the emergency fund has been used.   And I know many have been in this boat, but it’s our first time.  And I know that in the end, we will pay them.  I am thankful, if we postpone them we will meet our current costs of living and will not have to be further in debt, but it is disheartening to see in such a short time all that we worked for gone.

These are the things that make me hate being a grown-up.  It’s the things of life that as a kid are shielded from us and go over our heads in our ignorance.  The hard decisions, the painful ones, ones you constantly ask am I making the right choice?  Will there be hope in a new day?  Yes.  And this is not the end of the story.  But I’d be lying if I said all was well and didn’t share the very real emotion of losing something hard bought.  Not that the money lost was a grand value.  But it represented a success that encouraged our momentum forward.  I know the principals and disciplines I am learning in budgeting, saving, and paying off debt will continue to grow and replace what I’ve lost…but it doesn’t make today hurt less.  So, if you read this, be gracious enough to say a prayer for me.  I have a lot of phone calls to make with those debts tomorrow.


9 thoughts on “I hate being a grown-up.

  1. Bethany says:

    Praying for you! Keep pressing forward! Remember the small successes that you have made, let that be an encouragement to you!

  2. Kira says:

    Praying for you and im SO PROUD of you!! I know how much of an accomplishment it is for you to to make the headway you have made and this is just a small setback but will not defeat you guys!! By the way…..there are days where i totally hate being a grown up…hehe!

  3. Thanks to those who prayed for me this morning! I had a very helpful representative at the hospital who was able to postpone payments on Jake’s bill until August without problem, and significantly reduce the minimum on the others to a point I believe we can pay. I will have to redo our July budget to see for sure, but I am hopeful.

  4. Danea says:

    I have been in that boat many times, it is always a struggle, but can your kids qualify for fliridakidcare.com? It is only $20 month and all dr visits and hosp are completely covered. I think even if you have outstanding bills they will pay them . I didn’t know about it till mine was 4 yrs old, so I’m just passing the info to you in hopes of helping.

    • Thanks but we have our kids insured through John’s work at a reasonable price. We are just hitting deductibles and the 20% which is also fine, just a heavy weight when your budget is already extended. But, with the adjustments we should be ok and perhaps can get back some of our emergency fund sooner than later. 😉

  5. Sarah says:

    You are a blogger now! I’m bookmarking you. 🙂 Being a grown-up is hard, but discipline is the hardest, right? Oh, how I struggle to be disciplined in so many areas.

    Leia, it takes such courage to be vulnerable in this way. Like Paul, you “boast” about your weaknesses, something that is so beautiful and rare…especially in our culture, where self-promotion and hiding behind masks is the norm. Makes me think of these verses: The Lord said “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me….for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NLT)

    We, too, have arranged payment plans with the hospital in the past, and it really was a blessing. {hugs}

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