Ever have one of those days where your outlook on life just gets grayer and grayer by the hour? Today was one for me. I can tell myself all the positives and encouragements and truths I want, but in the end, I am just cross, disappointed and deeply discouraged. We’ve been doing Dave Ramsey for about a month and a half and had been making some good head-way in a few areas. We haven’t used our credit card, have been making all our bills and even managed to save a very small something. We sold several items around the house to build up our emergency fund and were just 300$ short of hitting the first goal. And then we got hit with several hospital bills. We knew about the ones I had but both the boys got sick and needed respiratory care and even with insurance, it’s a pretty penny. And to pay them, we count on John’s overtime to do it. But we didn’t get any overtime the last 2 weeks. And Jacob’s ER visit is now due. With over a $1,000 total due in my family’s hospital bills alone, we now have to face, for our first time ever, letting all of those bills go to collections, because the emergency fund has been used. And I know many have been in this boat, but it’s our first time. And I know that in the end, we will pay them. I am thankful, if we postpone them we will meet our current costs of living and will not have to be further in debt, but it is disheartening to see in such a short time all that we worked for gone.
These are the things that make me hate being a grown-up. It’s the things of life that as a kid are shielded from us and go over our heads in our ignorance. The hard decisions, the painful ones, ones you constantly ask am I making the right choice? Will there be hope in a new day? Yes. And this is not the end of the story. But I’d be lying if I said all was well and didn’t share the very real emotion of losing something hard bought. Not that the money lost was a grand value. But it represented a success that encouraged our momentum forward. I know the principals and disciplines I am learning in budgeting, saving, and paying off debt will continue to grow and replace what I’ve lost…but it doesn’t make today hurt less. So, if you read this, be gracious enough to say a prayer for me. I have a lot of phone calls to make with those debts tomorrow.