Where is my self-worth found?

As I’ve said before, I’m not a natural home-maker.  By that I mean I wasn’t raised to a consistent, care for the hearth and home view.  When my brother and I were little, I have snatches of memories of just that but as we got older, got into school, friends, and activities, and my parents got into jobs…well, it kinda all got lost.  And the important tasks got done but it was never taught or described in such a way as a woman’s role.  As an important woman’s role.  Instead, independence, running around, socializing, busy-ness and activities took the place of quiet conversation, providing quality meals, cleaning, organizing the home in all it’s activities and learning tasks for future family.

Christ has done much to change this in me.  I’ve still got an independent streak a mile wide, and everyone knows I get cabin fever at a rapid rate but I’m learning.  Still, this week’s chapter in Becoming God’s True Woman struck a blow in two areas.  And they are completely linked together so that you can’t say I will be one and not the other.  The first came from this:

One of the things the feminist movement has done so successfully is to stir up discontent in women with being homemakers and to convince them that other pursuits can increase their sense of self-worth.

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh (2008-10-31). Becoming God’s True Woman (Kindle Locations 1298-1300). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition.

From where does my self-worth come?  Without Christ, it must come from what I do, who I am, how I raise my kids, what job I have and to whom I’m married.  But with Christ?  The correct answer is He alone is my self-worth. It’s 12 inches from the head to the heart but sometimes it’s the size of the Grand Canyon.  I know the right answer.  But am I living it?  Is it what motivates my endeavors?  When those endeavors fail?  Succeed?  When I look longingly at women in the spotlight, seemingly making a difference, why do I want it?  To be worth something more than an at home mom? Why is the worth of an at home mom less?  Even my duties here, in my home, with my spouse and kids; is it the praise of being a good mom or wife that I value?  Or the understanding I’m nothing without Christ and I wish to serve Him in everything for His glory?

The second is this:

The Scripture puts it this way: “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down” (Prov. 14:1). There are two kinds of women in this world—wise and foolish.

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh (2008-10-31). Becoming God’s True Woman (Kindle Locations 1168-1169). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition.

Which am I?  Proverbs is not just talking about a physical home here.  This is a sphere of influence…and we all have one.  Yes, the context here is a wife and her household and spouse and children.  But the underlying principle is for all women in all stages of life..single, married, widowed.  Do I build or destroy?  If I’m concerned about my own self-worth, I am bound to destroy.  That’s the whole point of “looking out for number one”.  If it’s between my success or yours, I’ll do whatever it takes for me to win.  But, if I’m rooted and established in my self-worth as a child of God, created by Him, bought by blood, and redeemed for good works to walk within for His glory, then I’m looking for the ways to build up others…be it my spouse, my kids, my friends, co-workers or church members.  When I fail, I am resting in the grace of God for forgiveness.  When I succeed, I am thankful for His grace to be used.

These are life-long struggles.  They will not be won in a day, a week, a year.  It’s a multifaceted principle that keeps coming up.  From where am I finding my self-worth?  Fortunately, by looking around and seeing my sphere of influence, I can gauge the answer to that.  If all are in shambles around me, then it’s pretty clear I’m tearing down instead of building up.  And I can only build up if my self-worth is in Christ.

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