The SuperMom Curse

I often feel like I have to be supermom since I’m a stay at home mom.  I mean, I don’t work outside the home, so what does my life count for without the career?  Obviously I must then be teacher, baker, chef, expert cleaner, the perfect judge in childhood affairs, household accountant and blogger.  This is what we hear when someone says Oh, you stay home?  What do you do all day?”  Now, I applaud and admire moms who can juggle work out of the home and the needs of family.  I was there for several years so I know that struggle of trying to make every second with your family count since work necessitated time and mind apart from them.  On either side of the work line, we all suffer from the SuperMom Curse.

This is the I have to do it all or it won’t get done right! curse.  It’s the one that causes us to sip our coffee at a gathering and compare ourselves to each other.  It’s what divides women instead of bringing them together.  It’s sinful, wrong, and in the end, plain hurtful to all involved.  Look at what Jethro says to Moses as he is trying to lead and care for the family of Israel:

Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.
(Exodus 18:17-18 ESV)

If single leadership wasn’t a good thing for Moses, why do we think it is a good thing for us and our lives or families?  Are we engaging our spouses in the management of the home?  Because I know for my own husband, when I get all SuperMom on him he just backs away and leaves me to it.  I don’t blame him. But it’s not good.  Yes, he disciplines different than I. Sure, he makes dinner his way.  But when I exhaust myself on all the details I forget the blessings I have.  If I allow help, then there is energy left to enjoy and treasure the gifts of family, love and being home.  This extends out of my home too.  Am I gaining insight from other women?  Seeking help when I need it, not just sucking it up and saying well, it’s too much trouble to get help so I’ll do it all by myself?

Fight the supermom curse with the gospel of Christ.  We have grace to succeed, grace to fail.  We can rely on His strength, weigh the agendas and goals through the light of eternity and focus on how best to be effective.  A clean kitchen or freshly ironed clothes may not be the best outlet of resources that day.  And enlist the aid of the helps around you.  Because the thing is to too heavy for you.

Confessions of a 5 year old

Some days I’m a 5-year-old.  These are not proud moments where I’m raging against justifiable injustice.  No.  Usually it’s simply I didn’t get my way.  School was an uphill battle.  The bread I spent over an hour on came out wrong.  I cleaned the bathroom and ten minutes later there’s an “accident” in there.  Some how, some way, I have an expectation and the result flops miserably short of it.  Then I just want to yell and scream and stomp my feet that it’s just not FAIR!

Who can relate?  I constantly have to tell my kids that life is not fair.  We have a whole book in the Bible to draw out all of life’s unfairness in detail in Ecclesiastes.  We have Jesus, the perfect Son of God, on the cross for the sins of man.  Talk about unfair!  And somehow I think my failed plans should justify fairness.  In rational moments later I wonder at my audacity to even feel that way when my Lord endured far more injustice. I yearn to have that part of me removed or matured.  I yearn to remember Him in those moments of temper tantrums which will help me do so, little by little, as I cannot come close to comparing my suffering to His.  By His Grace, the 5-year-old inside will grow up.

Life on Life

As we come to the last chapter of Becoming God’s True Woman, we find the call of discipleship.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
(Titus 2:3-5 ESV)

The chapter goes into detail about this very descriptive call we are given biblically, but I am just reminded of the completeness it encompasses.  This is life on life.  My life on yours, yours on mine.  The call is not limited to the six ways to read your Bible or the exact way to have an inductive bible study, but rather where the rubber meets the road.  How to behave.  How to be quiet.  What is good, right, just.  Godly.  In all its forms and through all the seasons of our lives.  This goes beyond casual instruction, gets to the blind spots and struggles we all have.  We need someone helping us to see them or apply biblical truth to them.

I want to be this for others.  I want others to be this for me.  I want it for my spouse and my kids as they get older.  This great high calling of discipling and the community that is found in the body of Christ is a precious treasure and great responsibility.  By God’s grace I want to be found partaking in it.