My Disorganized Heart

If you visited my home, more than likely you would think I am an organized person.  I personally thrive in an ordered environment.  Kids have a tendency to ruin that zen-like environment and I confess it has been the study (obsession?) of my years as mom to try to regain the external environment that is most conducive to my contentment.

Note, external environment.  While it may reflect great order, the chaos of my heart to get it there often causes me to respond in ungodly ways to:

“Pick up your trash!  I taught you better!”

“What made you think you could let your little brother put peanut butter on his own bread on the floor!”

“I can’t take this….go outside and play.  I will tell you when you can come in!”

While the introduction to The Organized Heart begins with the confessions of a woman who is disorganized in life, I find the contrast in my heart.

Disorganization steals your joy. It causes you to go through your life frazzled and stressed. It causes friction with your husband and makes you snap at your children. It makes you perform ministry tasks grudgingly. It prevents you from developing friendships, because you’re always rushing from one task to the next. You don’t feel like you’re doing anything well, let alone to the glory of God.

Eastin, Staci (2011-02-26). The Organized Heart (p. 11). Cruciform Press. Kindle Edition.

To the glory of God.  That is what I want.  A reasonable life-sphere defined by order but not at the sacrifice of relationships, particularly with my whirl-wind children.  Is a toy-free living room more necessary than the cultivation of my children?  Some days, ashamedly, I live that way.  I see chaos around me and it seeps into my heart and frazzles me.  Instead of centering my heart and mind on the One who can calm my storms, I panic like the disciples (Matt 8:24-26).

Through this book, we are going to look at some heart idolatry interfering with organization.  The author cautions that there will be no to do lists or schedules on how to keep your house clean.  She reminds us as women that the goals of organization will look different for every woman, depending upon your stage of life, personality and needs of your family.  This at the outset removes the guilt that I have to be like someone else…whomever it may be that in our eyes is the “Queen” of order.  Instead of comparing myself laterally, it calls me to look vertically and see how can I better serve and glorify God by seeing, confessing and obtaining forgiveness for sin in the way I order my world around me.

2 thoughts on “My Disorganized Heart

  1. Julie says:

    Leia, I started to read this book, and find myself seeing glimpses of myself. Her comment regarding ‘God is more interested in the heart attitudes behind our actions than the action themselves’ made me stop and think

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