Land paddling

Mother’s Day showered me with a new long board, which I have been practicing but I lack the grace and flow that true athletes have to make an activity look easy. I’m pretty painful to watch. What helped my long board moves the most was a 2 hour SUP trip with my hubby on our anniversary. Shortly after, I pulled out my board and got on to find I was much more confident on it from my SUP experience. With paddle boards being upwards 600$ it’s a hobby a bit outside my range right now. But guess what. You can do it on land…

After seeing something that looked like a wheeled paddle pole for a skateboard, I had to find out what the deal was. Enter the world of YouTube and land paddling. Oh yeah. SUP without the water. I didn’t want to shell out the 70+$ for the paddle pole. Because I’m a nerd and because I married a DIY nerd…my first thought was How could John make me this? Again…YouTube to the rescue. Long painters pole, head of a rubber mallet and a pvc T-tube and I am in business.

I could tell you that it’s an awesome workout for your core and upper body. I could tell you it’s great for balance. But, in the end…it’s crazy fun and even a nerd like me can do it.

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The elastic waistband

I’m old. It’s official. I’ve had hints of my oldness in the past…singing songs to teens in my car and realizing they weren’t born yet (I’m just “Gettin’ Jiggy wit it!”). Watching the repeats and three-peats on shows I watched as a kid (how many more Superman’s can we have?). But, really, my age is showing in the fact that I now am a HUGE fan of the elastic waistband.

I’m sick of sucking it in. I’m tired of the too-tight waistband (but fitting everywhere else) pants that leave me with a muffin top. I’m tired of going through my closet every month during that time and having nothing that fits. I’m a tall girl…my typical monthly weight flux is anywhere between 5-10 pounds…which effectively changes my waistline from 12 to 14. And since I’m realistic about what fits on my body (ahem), I’ve decided that my new, go to summer wardrobe is athletic gear.

First off…elastic. Amen, people. There’s ugly elastic and then there’s I’m hip enough to not wear pajamas so yoga gear is it elastic. Second, if I buy in to the ads, then I’m a cool, trendy, stretchy, sporty chic that has nothing to do all day but work on yoga in the morning, a little backhand work at the tennis courts in the afternoon and sip Starbucks no-fat whatchamacallit’s in between. Yeah. That is SO me. It’s more like the slightly sweaty (I’m in Florida folks, it’s always sweaty here), semi-frazzled mom racing to errands, three kids in tow and trying to make an effort to look quasi-presentable to the public. I mean, when you’re a stay at home mom, there is no office dress code. You kinda spiral into this whole pajama wearing, never do your hair, who needs make-up when your around 3 year olds all day routine. Hence the need for athletic gear. It’s not pajamas. There are cute ones out there. And when you wear it, ponytail hair looks right, not I did nothing to my hair today.

So…those that see me sportin’ the look…remember I’m just a cool, hip, trendy gal working on by back hand and sippin’ Starbucks. Yep.

Half time is over

I’ve been chewed out by the coach. Heard the pep talk. Reviewed the failed plays and have a new game plan for the second half. The buzzer has rung…half time is over, folks.

And…that’s pretty much the end of my sports terms. Not my forte, really. But summer is half over and I’m starting the second half with a better plan. No. I’m starting with an actual plan. Because I certainly planned failure the first half by not having one. Those days of flying by the seat of my pants? GONE! Summer, a new job, family vacations and oh…three kids constantly in my face asking me What fun things are we doing today? when all I wanted was coffee and a book for half the day (don’t I get a summer too???). It’s all reminded me why I home school those little cherubs year round…what ELSE is there for them to do all day but rot their brains or drain my bank account?

But, no more am I failing to plan appropriately for the summer training for my job, the summer schooling for my kids and the summer . In general, I’m eeking my way out of the sewers of despair and the it’s not fair poopy-pants. I vetoed the reading on Fierce Woman this weekend in favor of getting fierce over my life. The plans have been set, schedules have been arranged, I’ve gotten the necessary curriculum to implement my plans and the 3 hours of cartoons in the mornings will stop! This is the declaration of good intentions, folks, and we all know what road is paved with them. I’m sure in a month I’ll be limping back to share the failures of my new plans but right now they are fresh and the necessary life-line to reclaiming order amidst the chaos that is my life right now. God-willing, it will open some better times in His Word because I’m actually planning to spend some time in His Word before the kids get up and the school day begins. (Mornings and I have a love/hate relationship…)

I’m not done with the plans and the goals but the first steps have been made. I have some household managing re-vamp to do and scheduling a little personal exercise and fun into my calendar. I also have work stuff to get in there. But, the biggest part is done and for the first time this summer I feel like I’m actually planning my days instead of my days planning me. The roller coaster is at the top of the descent, there’s the pregnant pause where the brakes let go, hands go up and down we fly!! (Excuse me while I puke…).

A life restrained…

When I met my husband, he informed me that if I could grasp two facts about him, we’d have the “perfect” relationship.  The first is that he lives his life 98% restrained (this is actually quite shocking but true) and that 98% of what he says is baloney.

After 10 years of perfection (ahem), I still hold these facts in my mind whilst dealing with my spouse.  Sometimes, he gets daring and lives his life only 97% restrained and the children or I wind up with bruises from hugs too hard or tickling gone wrong.  I’ve observed objects where he lost more than half his restraint in epic mechanical failure and those objects are usually unrecognizable afterwards.  For the dad who thinks arming his children with boxing gloves and head-gear and yelling go hit your brother! is good entertainment…restraint is good.

I do believe that his estimation on the baloney-factor is a bit off.  I actually think he is more truthful in his responses now than when we met…which is not necessarily a good thing.  If your actions generally need high restraint, you can darn well bet so does your vocabulary.  This was displayed most recently this week with us at the movies. Catastrophe arose in Star Trek when 10 minutes to the end, the power went out in the theater.  After a good 10 minutes of waiting for a re-start, the audience began to mumble around us.  Hubby also began to mumble….at the audience and their ridiculousness.  (We live in Florida, power can go out daily with our thunderstorms).  After listening to everyone around me, I finally turned to him and whispered Do you know how to be quiet?  Everyone around us can hear your comments about them!  To which my loving, less than 98% restrained man said I don’t care if they hear me!  They are being ridiculous! ….And no, I’m not going to get in a fight.  (Because I’ve told him that a lot in our 10 years).

I love my perfect man.  And he was right…no fight…but I think that was because everyone left the theater before we did.