The view from 36

A few observations about turning 36…birthday-candles-1338372401X5q

Why yes, I do feel older.  When my birthday celebration includes a visit to the chiropractor I think it’s safe to say I’m not the nimble 20-year-old I mistakenly think I am.

-Having to work this ridiculously hard at losing weight or maintaining weight is well, just ridiculous!  Mid-life metabolism sucks.  Take it from me, unless gifted genetically, or you have a nanny with your kids so you can work out for 1.5 hours daily and a chef to cook fit and fabulous meals for you, it’s likely you will be battling the ever-increasing numbers.  Not to say it isn’t possible….but the days of making lunch for my kids and eating what I’m making them is gone for good.

I can no longer connect with the early twenties people.  For years I was familiar enough with their music or their toys or slang or just…them.  Now I just look around at the majority of them and am afraid of what will be the norm for “adults” that my children will follow.

Birthdays goal are no longer fun.  At 13 you get to be a teenage, 16 you can drive, 18 you can vote, 21 you can drink, 25 you are the college grad on your own, 30 you can say your going to be married and have kids, 35 you envision personal or professional success.  I never planned after 35…it was always just OLD in my visions.  At this stage, 40, 50, 60 are just not really things I’m looking forward to.

Birthday gifts are no longer frivolous and fun either.  At least for me.  Weighing the financial costs of a night on the town or getting the blender that will help my fight against the scale seems like a no brainer.  Hence, I’m staring at my new blender and planning smoothie recipes.  And then I think…you’re an idiot for buying a blender!  But, spending the equivalent on sitters, dinner, a movie, and drinks later just seems to be empty entertainment.  After so many years of thinking realistically and practically, it’s hard to abandon that for a day.

I’m in the sweet spot.  Sure, I can’t be up in the gym working on my fitness like Fergie, or blowing all my money on a new car and honestly, I have no idea what goals I should be making for the years ahead of me.  What I do know is I’m deeply loved by my family and friends.  I’ve been blessed with a spouse who has sacrificed much to keep me home to be the discipler and teacher of our children.  I’m enjoying what I see as the perfect ages in my children…old enough to be independent and do fun things together and young enough that they want to.  I’m settled in homeschooling which finally feels normal, comfortable and enjoyable as all three are involved in the same curriculum.  I’ve been given the privilege to work in our home school, alleviating some financial pressure and not taking much time away from the home or school with the kids.  

There’s a lot about being older that just stinks.  But as I look at where I am in life, in my relationships, and all the blessings I’ve been given or entrusted with…I’m humbled that I have been given so much.

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